Tokyo Tales: We're Not Soul Mates (Simon and Martina Podcast Episode 17)

2019-ж., 28-мар.
157 134 Көрүүлөр

Episode 17 of the Tokyo Tales podcast. This sounds like a scary topic, but don't worry. We're not breaking up. We're addressing the idea of soul mates, and how we think that it's not a useful concept, and how it could be damaging to a relationship. We'll tell you how we don't fit the soul mates pattern, and how our relationship takes a lot of work. Not all of that work is fun work. A lot of it is challenging work, deep work that makes us confront issues in ourselves that we might not be comfortable with. Check it out in this week's podcast!
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Жорумдар
  • Lessons learned in 17 years of marriage: 1. I don't have a Simon - Martina has a David. :) 2. Don't depend on the other person to make you happy. Instead, do your best to put each other first and focus on making life a little easier for your partner. 3. Never, ever assume that any action is done maliciously. Anytime you get frustrated or angry at your partner, remember that they are, in fact, your PARTNER. Your teammate. Teammates don't sabotage each other, so in all likelihood your partner wasn't *trying* to make you mad. Take the time to clarify their words, or figure out the reasoning behind their actions. It might still annoy you but at least you'll know it's not intentional. :D 4. Sometimes the problem is you. Being in a healthy relationship takes a lot of self-reflection and more than a little humility, and it's totally possible that you are the one who is wrong in an argument. Be able to admit it.

    freddiehobartfreddiehobartЖыл мурун
    • 11 years in a relationship and this is exactly what we have come to learn on our own and what has made our relationship flourish

      PinkuSugarPinkuSugarЖыл мурун
    • @Sable Rain that is beautiful ♡

      Candy Taco Moustache CatCandy Taco Moustache CatЖыл мурун
    • Love it. Thank you for sharing

      Candy Taco Moustache CatCandy Taco Moustache CatЖыл мурун
    • It's also so cool to make that journey of self development with somebody else and really get to know someone else. My husband and I are 5 years in, and sometimes it blows my mind how deeply we are getting to understand each other.

      Sable RainSable RainЖыл мурун
    • translation be a fully functioning adult and self aware before being in a relationship aka no duh bka why most relationships dont work out........

      serenityq26serenityq26Жыл мурун
  • I personally don't believe that soul mates necessarily fit together like a puzzle, but just feel very much drawn to one another- and that people have more than one soulmate out there, some you might never meet, some where timing doesn't fit at all- said like; you both might be in totally different places physically and mentally in your lifes at that time and therefore it might not workout

    ClaraClaraКүн мурун
  • thank you for giving that example. eventhough it seems really trivial, it does affect relationships. The root being unreal expectations that we always see in movies. It was one of the hardest thing for me to comprehend and overcome in my life and gradual concession saved my relationship. Much love to you guys 💖💖

    BushidoBushido2 күн мурун
  • I think you all just have to realize there isn’t only 1 soul mate... a soulmate comes into your life as a partner to teach you something about yourself, or for you to teach them something about themselves.... A soulmate is there to help you find and become your best self, there will be fighting or disagreements... the reason you find your soulmates in life is to become the best you can be. You might have one soulmate your whole life like some people, you might have multiple soulmates.... they all serve a similar purpose.... The negative thing is society dictates that it is only one person, and it’s for the rest of your life, I think for many people this is not the case.

    AdaśkuAdaśkuАй мурун
  • Did they break up?

    tia utia uАй мурун
  • Hi, if you came to the comments to ask the same question, it’s showing up again because people keep coming here, watching, and commenting on the video. That’s how the algorithm works.

    LeanimalLeanimalАй мурун
  • I hope you two get to watch this again and work things out. We all miss you two together. :(

    brightsidexchokebrightsidexchokeАй мурун
  • Thank you for being fantastic role models and explaining this. Also, the fact that you're going through a tough relationship time rn adds an extra beautiful layer of real-life lessons to this video. Also, shout out to the algorithm. I'm impressed that this is ironically being recommended .... crazy coincidence?

    Kristen GruberKristen GruberАй мурун
  • Lake CakeLake CakeАй мурун
  • this is making me so upset, im so upset I miss them so much

    Cayden KnowlesCayden KnowlesАй мурун
  • 23 min. Felt like 5 min. I enjoy hearing you guys.

    A BHA BHАй мурун
  • Just figured out that the YT algorithm must be Regina George, because it has doggedly been recommending me this video for the past two weeks.

    Flávia SouzaFlávia SouzaАй мурун
  • If your relationship is indeed over or in the process of being over, I just want you both to know that I return to this video to remind me when times are tough. I hope that whatever happens you don’t remove this video or your others. I hope you both are well, either together or apart 💖

    OtterWorks CreativeOtterWorks CreativeАй мурун
  • such lovely food for thought!!!!!

    LuckyLifeguardLuckyLifeguardАй мурун
  • I wish I didn't date my soulmate/best friend. He was the only person I've ever felt 100% myself with, and now he doesn't even speak to me. We should've stayed friends. I feel like my life would be more complete, in a way. Now I just feel empty most days

    Emily CEmily CАй мурун
    • @Pinky ❤

      Emily CEmily CАй мурун
    • I completely understand what you mean. I ended up dating someone that was very dear to me, that was my best friend before the relationship, and when our relationship ended, so did the contact. I was pretty devastated and it took me years to reconcile those feelings of loss that I had...and still do to this day. I think the last part of my healing when the realization that not everybody will have a special connection with you but it's not to say that you will never find that again. I know it's hard to imagine but it takes time to get to know someone and perhaps, you've already in the midst of getting to know someone that could very well be that special to you someday. That's what happened with my ex and even though he is gone, I still have hope that I can make other special connections too. I hope you have a good day and if nothing else, please know that you aren't alone with this feeling.

      PinkyPinkyАй мурун
  • Oof that title, aged horribly.

    VGPVGPАй мурун
    • lol

      Cara SCara SАй мурун
  • Soul mates aren’t a thing.

    LeahSS77LeahSS77Ай мурун
  • Nasties, They well never not love each other. He covered both arms in tattoos to get glimpse of the pain that Martina feels sometimes on the daily. But maybe I’m speculating. Being a fan for so long I would pray for them to have a kid because I was scared what would happen to Simon if Martina passed, he seemed entirely dependent on her for his existence. He even portrayed her in his more emotional vids as his meaning for life. He’s growing now and seeing what being your own human is. I hope they work through this. Finding ones self can lead to bringing a much healthier perspective to your relationship. . . . (it can also lead to self-centredness)

    Stephanie TannisStephanie TannisАй мурун
    • @Thekla M a small detail In the tattoo vid unles I’m misremembering it’s been a while was he sat through the pain thinking about the pain Martina feels on the daily

      Stephanie TannisStephanie TannisАй мурун
    • I mean he did a whole Video on his Tattoos and they weren't done so he can understand her pain. He said that they tell his story realistically and it also includes his depression (the dark patch on his arm). Martina isn't the only one in their relationship that struggles with certain things on a daily basis. (don't worry i am not attacking you, just giving you the info, especially if you havent seen their tattoo video i recommend to check it out)

      Thekla MThekla MАй мурун
    • I agree with you. Although many of us idolize their relationship and can idealize it as well, i think we're overlooking some of the subtler clues like what you mentioned. Simon is very physically independent, but emotionally dependent on Martina. Martina is the opposite, being physically dependent on Simon for (probably a lot) but seems like emotionally, she can handle herself alone. And when you're in a relationship like that, no matter how perfect it seems, it'll still bother you at the end of the day if you feel like your life is not "complete" without that other person. Maybe they're just taking some time to grow those parts they may have neglected in themselves because they've had each other for so long. At the end of the day though, it'll always be love between them

      Aria MorganAria MorganАй мурун
  • YES! 1. Relationships are not easy. I have been in a relationship for almost 5 years with my first boyfriend. I don't date to break up. I think it's ridiculous how some people date people they know they won't be dating for long. People don't want to put effort into a relationship and make it work. 2. Soulmates is a toxic concept. I don't always get along with my sister and that doesn't mean we should not be sisters. I don't always agree with my friends or my boyfriend either. If everyone arounds you always agrees with you. You either have a lot of money or you're scaring them or you're only having surface discussions and no deep discussions. Or a mix of those and that means they are not real relationships.

    vanessa mvanessa mАй мурун
    • I couldn't agree more!

      DaylightInMyHeartDaylightInMyHeartАй мурун
  • This made me cry. This is me and my partner. We have our fights but when the world is bad wer are there for each other.

    Mother BearMother BearАй мурун
    • I agree with u both. It is hard work x

      Mother BearMother BearАй мурун
  • Why is this suddenly recommended? Strange timing...

    mouseroadmouseroadАй мурун
    • @Nkauj Angela or it’s just the algorithm lol

      chipsndipschipsndipsАй мурун
    • It’s a sign from the universe lol

      Nkauj AngelaNkauj AngelaАй мурун
  • My boyfriend hates shopping too.

    Linda KangLinda KangАй мурун
  • I’m wondering why this is suggested video now of all times

    Toni ChisumToni ChisumАй мурун
  • 9:22 ...this is painful

    LizArdLizArdАй мурун
    • Very painful indeed

      SunoftheCakesSunoftheCakesАй мурун
    • right :(

      TaraTaraАй мурун
  • I miss this podcast and I miss them *sigh*

    HollyHollyАй мурун
  • I think this song is what they are touching on, kgworld.info/wiki/video/xaicf7R-qotox24

    Mya RaenMya RaenАй мурун
  • oh... you ...guys... im not crying, YOU 're crying, who's cutting onions? I also have a great partner for almost 8 years now. And we work pretty much the same. LOVE is something you construct each and everyday. You can't just be like 'oh, im out of love today, so bye'. We have heard friends getting divorced say 'love was over'. Well, of course, our 'lovey dovey' face was over 6 month into our relatioship, but you choose to stay each day, and work everyday FOR the couple. you MAKE love.

    lieliebabylieliebabyАй мурун
  • With more recent assumptions,watching this with some hindsight, ... this is depressing

    Grow with me photographyGrow with me photographyАй мурун
  • So, Simon and Martina! It’s time to address all the anxious fans concerns with their idea that you are parting ways.

    Lore BazemoreLore BazemoreАй мурун
    • As much as I want an answer to want is happening between them, we have to wait until they are ready. They will have to address it sooner or later. The channel was made with both of them in it. So they will have to address what's happening one day. We just have to wait until they're ready.

      phoebechan192phoebechan192Ай мурун
    • Them sharing edited clips of their life with an audience had always been a choice and always will be and you are not entitled to a single second of it

      MGMGАй мурун
    • No it's not time, you don't get to rush a real life relationship into anything you are not a part of.

      MGMGАй мурун
  • Of course I don't know what might be the true issue, but either way, I believe you guys will work it out. Feelings shift and change all the time, but that doesn't mean you have to give up on a relationship. Life is short during this time, but God promises eternal life.. Sometimes challenges in a relationship are for our benefit to help us grow, not to run away from. And they are a testimony of what love really is when we make sacrifices. Ultimately will we pursue Him first? That is the ultimate unifying factor despite any storms in life that come to knock us around. Maybe you could feel you are on two different paths, but maybe that will change in a year to not being as important as you think it is right now. Or maybe God is trying to lead you in directions that might oppose what you currently are doing. Storms come for good reasons too, to clear a way for new paths. What is important is love and what is true and good, even if your jobs go in separate directions, you can still be united unless there are issues of morality or certain views on what is right or wrong. Take time for yourselves, breathe, feel free in new ways.... Believe in growth for eachother, even if it is not at the same timing. For a marriage of 17 years, or 18 now... I pray that you find your way through this, explore and try new things, new thoughts together, instead of reaching out for new people to explore with. Because you can always find someone new and different... but is that the answer? Ultimately we will be united if we come to God first. God can breathe new life into you and your understanding of this time we live in.

    Tracey MTracey MАй мурун
  • After the infamous Simon video, I hope you're both on each other's teams.

    Ana SandovalAna SandovalАй мурун
    • @이동규 no she used it properly

      Angelica U.Angelica U.Ай мурун
    • i dont think you know what infamous means

      이동규이동규Ай мурун
  • You guys are awesome. I have to say, none of my boyfriends have genuinely liked to browse in a grocery store. And like Martina, I felt that grocery shopping was something couples did together for fun. It took a lot for me to realise that I only thought that because that's the impression of 'happy couples' depicted in western culture. if it's a foreign store for the first time men will browse out of curiosity. But not so much for regular weekly shopping. As I've worked in a grocery/retail too, I also find it difficult to go browsing. I now prefer getting everything online due to the pandemic, mentally I just can't deal with whether or not ppl are social distancing/wearing masks. It just raises my hackles and makes me feel very uncomfortable.

    Bee urundulBee urundulАй мурун
  • What God has put together, let no man tear asunder. Remember that the first and primary job of every spouse is to get the other one to heaven. Nothing else matters. Vows were made and can't be broken.

    Benedict James WeeBenedict James WeeАй мурун
    • @Sifirela oh, when I said separate I meant divorce. Divorce isn’t always a bad thing.

      chipsndipschipsndipsАй мурун
    • @chipsndips It is. It helps reevaluate why you fell in love with each other in the first place. Breaks are necessary in some cases. I pray and wish them all the best and hopefully they grow even more through these trials.

      SifirelaSifirelaАй мурун
    • Not saying I hope they divorce, but sometimes separating is the best solution for dysfunctional marriages.

      chipsndipschipsndipsАй мурун
  • They always were the strongest couple. I can’t imagine what went down to change this. Also, why is KGworld recommending this to me now??

    waterlilywaterlilyАй мурун
    • ikr idk why youtube is recommending this now

      TaraTaraАй мурун
    • @Bob Nemel By Ashley Hardin There are a lot of very unusual things in their recent videos, like the fact that their videos have all been with just one of them, with no mention of the other, and that neither of them are wearing their wedding bands. Simon's Instagram post from earlier this year implied that he was reaching his breaking point with being Martina's primary caretaker, and the fact that people have asked and they've just danced around the issue, and people feel like if everything was okay between them, then they would've just said so. There are just lots of hints that they're in a rough patch By simon on instagram: But there are days like today - many days - when I still feel hopeless, where I feel like there’s nothing I can do. Watching how Martina’s EDS is wearing away at her both physically and spiritually has been deeply dispiriting, and has had a big impact on our relationship, which in turn has a deep impact on my own wellbeing - for which we both feel guilty. I’m trying what I can to stay afloat, but I feel overwhelmed. I don’t know what more I can do. And I feel alone in this.

      FireflyFireflyАй мурун
    • what makes you so sure they split?

      Bob NemelBob NemelАй мурун
  • 야가 가가

    송동욱송동욱Ай мурун
  • don't look for the right person, be the right person, then be the right person for the person right for you.

    things come and gothings come and goАй мурун
  • I wasn't looking for this KGworld... this some kind of cruel joke? :'(

    kizzykizzyАй мурун
  • and I oop-

    IsabelleIsabelleАй мурун
  • What does Martina say at 17:11?

    SortaboringSortaboringАй мурун
    • I believe: "He's beginning to feel attracted to women" possibly joking that it sounds like he's going through puberty.

      Kristen AlbertsKristen AlbertsАй мурун
  • wow yeah i haven't seen these two since my Asian fetishization phase in middle school. Would like to officially like to apologies for objectifying Asian people biased on cultural stereotypes, and thinking my 11 year old ass could've realistically gotten with taemin because i was pale with blue eyes (misogynoir)

    Di DiDi DiАй мурун
    • 😂😂 I used to be jealous of white girls when I was deep into my koreaboo phase lol. I didn’t like my brown skin and bought a crap ton of whitening products.

      chipsndipschipsndipsАй мурун
  • my soulmates are cats and my karmic relationship is with instant ramen.

    gomonkeyflygomonkeyflyАй мурун
  • 😭😭😭

    blueprintsymphonicblueprintsymphonicАй мурун
  • Did I miss something big? I don't see anything about the couple getting divorced or breaking up 🤔

    ChaiTeaVChaiTeaVАй мурун
    • @Ashley Hardin that's so sad but thank you for the explanation

      ChaiTeaVChaiTeaVАй мурун
    • There are a lot of very unusual things in their recent videos, like the fact that their videos have all been with just one of them, with no mention of the other, and that neither of them are wearing their wedding bands. Simon's Instagram post from earlier this year implied that he was reaching his breaking point with being Martina's primary caretaker, and the fact that people have asked and they've just danced around the issue, and people feel like if everything was okay between them, then they would've just said so. There are just lots of hints that they're in a rough patch

      Ashley HardinAshley HardinАй мурун
  • KGworld *knows*

    B Faith8B Faith8Ай мурун
  • the thing about soul mates is that in different stages of your life, you have different soul mates anyhow. if your paths align in another timeline, then so be it.

    chocolatecypchocolatecypАй мурун
  • Why is this being recommended now?! To ease my curiosity. Regardless of the situation, I will still support you both and genuinely hope you are both well!

    GodWithUsProductionsGodWithUsProductionsАй мурун
  • 🥺

    B KB KАй мурун
  • 9:24 I’m dying 😭😭😭😭😭 Noooooo

    HowAboutLaur MaiHowAboutLaur MaiАй мурун
    • No kidding. Even with genuine love, you never know what'll happen 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

      Kristen GruberKristen GruberАй мурун
    • I love Simon & Martina a lot, and it's painful to see them go through this. :( That said, I think there's 1 of 3 possibilities. 1. Similar to Jenna Marbles, Simon is taking a semi-hiatus from his internet presence. The situation may be different, but if this is the case, it 100% makes sense why he hasn't appeared in more than two or three videos over the last several months,and in his latest "update" video he made, which to be fair, he mentioned that he experienced a few big traumas, which combined with COVID-19 stuff, would seem to be enough to make him want to take sabbatical from social media. 2. Simon & Martina have decided that they have dominated each other's lives far too much, and while it may sometimes work out in non-individualist cultures, perhaps coming back to Canada and being literally stuck together 24/7 made them realize just how little independence they had from one another, so they're just experimenting by living more separate, independent lives for now. 3. They are doing a trial separation, possibly still living together, but giving space and being non-judgemental. They aren't certain about it yet, but even psychologists and counselors recommend that a struggling couple NEVER just outright divorce after some arguments and fights. If the desire to separate remains after a set period of time, they may go ahead and do it. Whatever the case may be, there's definitely something going on, as they haven't been in the same video for several months now, which is the most telling piece. So it's either 1. Simon's checking out of the internet more or less for mental health (which he sort of claimed recently). 2. Their relationship is struggling and either they are practicing being independent from one another, or 3. This is indeed a trial semi-separation.

      DannieDannieАй мурун
    • It may not be a case of one person just leaving! They could have decided together! :)

      Kehbii BooKehbii BooАй мурун
    • Fffuuuck dude some of my heart is dying 😭😭😭😭

      RoseLikeTheFlowerRoseLikeTheFlowerАй мурун
    • yea.. it hurts to watch this now.

      selenaz cselenaz cАй мурун
  • The one thing I find frustrating is that certain people dont want to work through it and never do even when the other party wants to and I think those are the type of people you leave cause they dont want to change and work it out.

    BrownebunnyBrownebunnyАй мурун
  • I hope you both feel the love and support from your viewers. We may not know you personally, but we appreciate you both for all that you've shared and continue to share with us.

    Joshua JacksonJoshua JacksonАй мурун
  • okay, now i’m really sad

    Linda LinLinda LinАй мурун
  • I don’t know why this was in my recommended (I saw this vid when it was released) but oh boy am I emotional with that thumbnail.

    tabularasaconfirmedtabularasaconfirmedАй мурун
    • I know.... Feels like an adelle song now... :(

      BipolartorecoveryBipolartorecoveryАй мурун
  • I don’t know if you’ll ever see this. But this was great advice

    Two Chefs One knifeTwo Chefs One knifeАй мурун
  • "It seems like whenever I look at places like 'relationship advice', as soon as someone does something wrong they say, 'It's time to lawyer up, hit the gym, and find a new person, and leave. And no one wants to put the work into something." Really hope this doesn't come out to be some kind of awful foreshadowing for what is happening now. 7:18 oof

    Spoonie LifeSpoonie LifeАй мурун
    • You are making me nervous and emo.

      Jun's July* Wonpil's Yonpil* Chanyeol's JagiyaJun's July* Wonpil's Yonpil* Chanyeol's Jagiya12 күн мурун
  • why is the youtube algorithm bringing me here ;_;

    piepieАй мурун
    • Because they're on top of it pretty much you'd have to say I guess. No doubt the words being written in their video comments lately "helped" get this one recommended.

      tvtomstvtomsАй мурун
    • Same, my fellow nasty, same.

      T NT NАй мурун
  • Wonder, if this is the case now

    Regenbogenwurm1Regenbogenwurm1Ай мурун
  • youtube's algorithm why are you like this ㅠㅠ

    JaciJaciАй мурун
  • Gosh this was so recent.. how fast things change.

    KrystinaKrystinaАй мурун
  • Simon comes across like a brand new different person now. Martina still seems like Martina. Hmm as long as both are safe and happy , I mean it's their life and we gotta respect their decisions. But my gut feelings tells me Simon is in a bad place in life, idk.

    P GP GАй мурун
    • He literally said he felt truly happy. This is where he draws the line. Do not cross it, it his own personal private space. All you can do is to wish both of them happiness and get updated when they upload their videos :)

      Deniz TomarDeniz TomarАй мурун
    • @tabularasaconfirmed Yeah you are right, however I have witnessed people in real life saying they are fine even though they ended up not being fine. And I am not claiming anything with Simon. Just telling how I perceive things and body language and all that. But nevertheless I do hope they are both in a good place in life.

      P GP GАй мурун
    • I just wanna point out that Simon’s recent video says the opposite and I’m more inclined to believe him and I truly hope he is happy. I hope they’re both happy.

      tabularasaconfirmedtabularasaconfirmedАй мурун
  • Whyy is youtube recommending this now ;_;

    OctoboobsOctoboobsАй мурун
    • @Bob Nemel Someone asked them on instagram if they broke up or were still together, and they said "how can we tell you what's going to happen in the future when we don't know" so it sounds like they might be taking a temporary break while trying to figure out next steps (whether to work through it and try again, or separate for good)

      S LS L12 күн мурун
    • Right? I’m like this is rude lol

      Bennett PerezBennett PerezАй мурун
    • it keeps showing me this video, taunting me. It hurts ;-;

      AtroxaAtroxaАй мурун
    • 😥😢😭😭😭😭

      Deidra BurgessDeidra BurgessАй мурун
    • I saw this in my recommended and immediately felt sad :(

      HollyHollyАй мурун
  • This showed up on my recommended and it just makes me sad now. considering everything going on . wish them the best

    Amber LeeAmber LeeАй мурун
    • @Katrina Wall They probably just need some time apart and there really isn't anything wrong with that. They could just need to take that time apart to spend time with their families during the quarantine and doing it separately is the best way to do it since their parents and Martina are high risk.They've lived overseas for like what 10 plus years? They missed a lot while they were living there. Now there's a pandemic, plus Simon lost a lot of weight his ring probably doesn't fit and it's not like Martina is out partying hitting up clubs with no ring on 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ All in all just take things as they are until they confirm or decide they want to explain.

      B.S. HB.S. HАй мурун
    • Weltfremd Simon commented on that video and basically said “I know you’re all thinking it and i can tell you not that that isn’t what this is” so who knows really

      Katrina WallKatrina WallАй мурун
    • @Sarah I worded it specifically "something wrong" because I don't know if they separated or something else happened in their life.

      WeltfremdWeltfremdАй мурун
    • @Weltfremd Until they confirm anything, it’s still just speculation. And even if they have separated, it being “something wrong” is entirely subjective. If the separation is something they need to live their best lives, then it’s the right choice for them 🤷🏻‍♀️

      SarahSarahАй мурун
    • @Sarah She lives with her mom, he lives somewhere else. No rings. He lost a lot of weight and acts weird on camera. That's a bit more than "he is taking a less active role in the channel" is it? I would've taken the "he wants to pursue writing and is less on camera" without his weird video which makes it obvious that something is wrong.

      WeltfremdWeltfremdАй мурун
  • :( why is this in my recommended now? after they possibly split / are on a break T_T god damn you youtube

    mimikkyumimikkyuАй мурун
    • I know right 🙁

      Lynn HallLynn HallАй мурун
  • thank you for making these types of videos,,, for entertaining us, making us laugh, for educating us, and bestowing wisdom on us,,, i've looked up to you guys for so long and it means a lot everything you share with us~

    Bethany LingleBethany LingleАй мурун
  • The title of this video has taken on a whole new meaning

    Matthew ConwayMatthew ConwayАй мурун
    • @Live True Enlighten damn, some wisdom here! Making this more self reflection than anything, this really helps me reconcile my own exes or ex-friends with my fear of abandonment, abandoning others as well as myself. This is a great take, thank you for sharing this perspective shift. I truly needed this personally.... I wonder if the ones so heavily interested in public couples are avoiding their own personal problems and needed this too.

      ClaudiaDCDLClaudiaDCDLАй мурун
    • To the entire thread... just my thoughts... Love is not selfish. Attraction is selfish and thats ok! But attraction isn't love. To love is to be heroic. You must love yourself, but giving yourself what ever you want isn't love, you may want tons if sugar, but it would not be an act of love to give that to yourself. Life comes with a lot of suffering, a little sugar rarely is nice, a lot is more suffering ahead. Love is not entertainment. The act of loving is self sacrifice. There is a time when you must leave, its when you give love and get hate in return. Then you must love from afar. Wish them well, encourage them to be better, but it is an act of love to not let them abuse you, you teach them the correct path. Best wishes. (Edits for typos)

      Live True EnlightenLive True EnlightenАй мурун
    • I lowkey think that Simon just needed some time to find himself away from Martina. Martina hasn’t done anything wrong that I know off or forced him to feel this way, but so much of simon’s self worth was about Martina, how well he could care for her, working out to make sure he can care for her in the future.

      Katrina WallKatrina WallАй мурун
    • @B Faith8 This is a horrible take. You’re on social media right now - how’s your relationship going, since you seem to think being on SM means we’re all entitled to your personal life? Also... they are staying off social media. They took a three month break and are not actively discussing their relationship. People online who are weirdly invested in a stranger’s relationship are the ones who keep bringing it up.

      SarahSarahАй мурун
    • @Bipolartorecovery Aw, that sounds sad. idk, only because I don't know what a relationship without friendship is like, I have trust issues, so all my relationship go through a friendship "trial period." I hated the dating game and the trial period being "how can you woo me" rather than "how can you support me, mentally." idk, I guess that's what I'm looking for in a relationship...which does force some self-reflection on myself. I was feeling a little sad on the lack of "fire" let's say lately, but I got what I paid for. Fire on good days, and support on all other days. What do you look for in a relationship?

      ClaudiaDCDLClaudiaDCDLАй мурун
  • they cant split if this is true. there is no way

    RomyArg30RomyArg30Ай мурун
    • @Alice Also a good point

      Angie AngAngie AngАй мурун
    • I’m waiting until it’s official and it comes out of them only. Right now it’s only speculations or assumptions, it’s kind of ridiculous.

      AliceAliceАй мурун
    • @Krista big yikes

      Angie AngAngie AngАй мурун
    • @Angie Ang They're currently not wearing wedding rings and making videos alone, not really addressing each other.

      KristaKristaАй мурун
    • @Sophie Yikes

      Angie AngAngie AngАй мурун
  • "We weren't found. We created each other for each other." What's more beautiful than when you have a partner who helps you grow into a better person?

    Yanelly De La RosaYanelly De La RosaАй мурун
  • I don’t believe in soulmates. I believe in love, compatibility and hard work

    VAnessa de jongVAnessa de jong2 ай мурун
  • Great podcast! You are both very honest about yourselves, very good advice for building a real relationship. I tell myself to stop romanticizing constantly!

    HH2 ай мурун
  • ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    Flipgal RNFlipgal RN3 ай мурун
  • I love you guys, you're the best. 😭💖🌟

    Candice MannetteCandice Mannette3 ай мурун
  • It's 10:30 am on a Sunday, and I'm crying over my cup of coffee.... you guys.

    CatCat3 ай мурун
  • this convo honestly had such a profound effect on me, just a lil 20 year old who doesn’t know much about romance at all. “we’re not soulmates, but we try and change because we want to be,” was rlly a moment of clarity

    GirlWithHeadphones18GirlWithHeadphones183 ай мурун
  • This is exactly how I feel about relationships of any kind. You have to put the effort in to get the good. I love my fiancé endlessly but nearly everyday we will have a winge at eachother even just a little one. But at the end of the day I love him for all his good and bad because that's him and it's all or nothing. You two are my favourite couple ever ❤️

    Katharine EderKatharine Eder6 ай мурун
  • Hi guys just recently found your podcasts on spotify. I loveeee yaaa

    meridian himeridian hi7 ай мурун
  • Thank you so much for this episode. This is an amazing insight into the whole soulmates thing. 💕 also thank you for sharing yout stories all the time.

    Mari-Anette FabreMari-Anette Fabre7 ай мурун
  • This is really important.

    Alissa SpringfieldAlissa Springfield9 ай мурун
  • This is so wholesome. Just such a beautiful message

    Alyssa ColwellAlyssa Colwell10 ай мурун
  • I have seen this video like 3 times now. It's so great to see two people trying to understand each other and comunicate as you do! I do share your opinion on the soulmate debate and it makes feel better to know that if you keep working at something you will get better at it. Thank you so much for reminding me of that everytime!

    Patricia MendesPatricia Mendes10 ай мурун
  • YES to ALL of this. if you're trying to find "a simon" cause you want someone to be there for you 24/7 but you're not looking forward to do the same for the other person, you're doing it wrong.

    makiyan gatitomakiyan gatito10 ай мурун
  • I really really love your view on life and partnership ! I'm in my early twenties and first relationship but i find myself relating to a lot of what you guys talked about (especially the grocery shopping, i'm on Team Martina here, my boyfriend is more of a Simon haha)

    naolia18naolia1810 ай мурун
  • I'm genuinely surprised that Simon was misogynistic, this NEVER crossed my mind. I'm glad the strides he took, especially with Martina's presence and patience with his original mindset, to become the mature and understanding person he is today (still playful though haha). Never judge a book by its cover, mean or nice, because you don't know the reason and the work it took to shape them into the person they are. Martina you are awesome, first woman that cheeky Simon respected!

    Jessie DongJessie DongЖыл мурун
  • Sorry you guys are going through all this... good luck with your relationship

    Tj JokerTj JokerЖыл мурун
  • I love that you guys explain this. It is important and something people need to hear and understand.

    Chris ContrerazChris ContrerazЖыл мурун
  • I really need this postcast in Spotify):

    Ariana CastroAriana CastroЖыл мурун
    • It’s on Spotify as well!

      simonandmartinabonussimonandmartinabonusЖыл мурун
  • I felt teary as soon as the podcast started...I think my period may be due

    Rita /Rita /Жыл мурун
  • Personally overtime I watch your guy's videos and I think something like that, like " oh Simon wow so nice!" But every time I have thought those things it also has made me reflect.

    KaitlynKaitlynЖыл мурун
  • I thought your shower caps were bubble wrap, until you clarified it at the end there xD

    Phirst DraftPhirst DraftЖыл мурун
  • I cannot remember who said it, but one of the greatest advice I've heard on lasting marriages was that "it's not about compromise, its about collaboration"

    Yeontan's SugaDaddyYeontan's SugaDaddyЖыл мурун
  • When I do start dating someone when we get to a more serious part of it I will show them the video you guys did about marriage being a career it is such a good mind set. xx

    Cara LifeTravelFunCara LifeTravelFunЖыл мурун
  • Haha butt 13:44

    BritBritЖыл мурун
  • I have noticed that some problems and road blocks are just bumps for some people, shile they are too much for other people to handle. For example my boyfriend had such bad anxiety for so long that no one else he was with could handle. They all left him and put all of the responsibility on him, where as I have suffered from ptsd for almost all of my life. That means that even when his attacks are daily I have absolutely no problem helping him through them and being there to love him before, during, and after. Just like how a lot of people couldn’t handle my attacks and when I would rage, but since my boyfriend understands he can almost always hold my hand through the roughest storm.

    Hannah SolaraHannah SolaraЖыл мурун
  • I found this video at the right time! I was struggling with some issues in my relationship because I always am confronted with the idea of the perfect partner. (Big book nerd with a lot of cheesy romance) So this video made me thought about it. EVERYTHING YOU SAID IS SOOOO TRUE. You both saved my day. I explained it to my boyfriend and we talked about it. With some late snacks :D

    JulesJulesЖыл мурун
  • My cousin had been dealing with illnesses since she was young. He husband knew this, but it never registered until she got really unwell and eventually he left her. This broke her heart and made her illness worse. She has gotten worse over the years and I personally blame him for this.

    John RamirezJohn RamirezЖыл мурун
  • Also, yes, yes please PLEASE PAh-Lease do a video on shower caps!

    GryffinMondaysGryffinMondaysЖыл мурун
  • I love this! I say this slot about my partner! That my favorite thing about us is that we are a team! Like, neither of us are perfect, and we are growing and changing; but I'm the end we are doing it together and that's what matters. We want to see each other succeed and be there to push through the hard times holding hands.

    GryffinMondaysGryffinMondaysЖыл мурун
  • This is so profound and wonderful. Thank you!!

    Sarah ElmoreSarah ElmoreЖыл мурун
  • I’m in a new relationship and this is actually very helpful. The “soulmates” ideology has really done a number on my subconscious, and I catch myself thinking things are compatible things when they are actually “work at it together “ things. Thanks for modeling healthy couple growth and communication.

    Regina satchellRegina satchellЖыл мурун
  • People will only see a part of other people's relationships, I have a friend that said to me "Your relationship is goals, if my relationship with my new boyfriend is even a bit like yours, I'd be over the moon" But the thing is, she only ever saw a portion of my relationship. There's a lot of stuff that happen behind closed doors, people just never see it. We have our tiffs and issues, and so my relationship is not even close to perfect. We just compromise and speak to each other when we have issues, and if we can't talk about it cos we're in a bad mood, we'll just talk about it when we've calmed down. People say things when they're upset or mad, and instead of saying those things, we take a breather until we're ready to talk about it! Sorry for this long comment, I just think it's so interesting that you two also have the same thoughts on this ❤️

    Viola ChuViola ChuЖыл мурун
  • This is amazing. I have never been in a relationship and I'm 30. But it makes me think when I complain at work how I need a man in my life and just want him to fall into my lap. But you guys make me think that I need to work and get out there. Even in work or family I need to be more considerate and its hard but I feel really motivated to be a better me and I try to be more considerate and thoughtful, which is totally a work in progress. I love you guys and always is a pleasure watching your videos to keep me grounded in my anxiety that takes over my whole mind. Now you guys are my conscious'. Thank you and love you two soooo much!

    Morgan FlanMorgan FlanЖыл мурун
  • I loved every single word of this podcast. Thank you.

    Saudamini SinghaniaSaudamini SinghaniaЖыл мурун
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